JEFF: Are you tired of trying to lose weight,only to fail time and time again?Did you fail miserably on the Keto diet after14,000 Instagram followers said that’s howthey lost 50lbs in three weeks?Are you tired of putting butter in your coffeeand actually trying to convince yourself thatit tastes good?Then it’s time for a change. Leading diet and nutrition experts have recentlyuncovered an evolutionary method that’shelping people just like you to get the sixpack they’ve always dreamed of. Introducing the SF Diet, by Viralgenics. Otherwise known as The Stomach Flu Diet. The SF Diet is the only weight loss plan that’sbacked by 6 million years of evolution. It works by attacking your body’s immunesystem causing anything and everything youconsume to be expelled in a violent torrentof gastrointestinal eruption. Studies show that the SF Diet is 40% moreeffective than Keto, 60% more effective thanPaleo, and 100 times more effective than notdieting at all. Just look at some of the powerful resultsthat you achieve in just days on the StomachFlu Diet. Check out Dan. He went from 220lbs to 191lbs in just fourhours. Or Andrew, from playing racquetball with hisbuddies. , to looking like he’s been beatenwith a racquet by the time he’s steppedout of the showers. Or Sheila, from beauty queen to porcelainqueen in just 20 minutes flat. Even Sarge. This veteran proves that even two tours incombat and an iron stomach won’t get inthe way of your results on the SF Diet. The science behind the SF Diet ensures thatyou remain in complete and total caloric deficitall day. Unlike other diets that try to mystify youwith the magic powers of fancy sounding hormones– like leptin and ghrelin – the SF dietrenders these virtually pointless when stackedagainst the appetite halting impact of thesecret weapon behind this plan’s success. Gut ripping, body folding, nausea. And the best part about this plan is thatyou could eat literally anything you wantwithout worrying about how it will affectyour waistline. Within minutes your body’s ability to processwhat has been eaten is virtually shut down. All gut motility comes to a grinding halt. And regardless of your food choices, anythingyou put in your stomach comes back out inflying colors. Some, you might not even recognize. Pizza?Arrivederci. Sushi?Sayonara. Nachos?Adios. There’s no need to worry about countingcalories or reading labels when everythingyou eat will likely never make it past yourstomach. Even if it does, each strain of the StomachFlu Diet comes with its own, patented backupevacuation method. So, you can rest easy knowing your calorierelease will occur. Which end that occurs from, however, is alwaysa guess. Let’s just say, it’s a crapshoot. But it’s this unpredictability that practicallygamifies the SF diet experience and keepsits users engaged, and interested far morethan any other monotonous, repetitive dietprogram you may have yawned your way throughin the past. And don’t worry. Unlike other diets that leave your systemin shambles after doing them, you’ll seamlesslycontinue to enjoy our non-restricted, deliciousmeal options. Carbs, fats, nothing is out of bounds withthe SF diet. So, I know what you’re thinking. How do you get your hands on this incredibleweight loss plan?I’m glad you asked. The SF diet is delivered directly to yourhome for free, via your own offspring. That’s right. Your sneezing toddler and coughing schoolkids are more efficient than Amazon at ensuringyou get your chance to experience the benefitsthis breakthrough plan can offer. No kids?No problem. Just pick up a menu at your favorite restaurant. Shake hands with anyone. Or simply step outside and greet the day witha nice, relaxing stretch and a deep, refreshingbreath of germ infected, viral coated, morningdew droplets. Regardless of how you choose to have it delivered,you can rest assured, the Stomach Flu dietwill get to work immediately for you, turningyour insides into spaghetti, and waging waron your intestines faster than even the proverbials**t through a goose. But that’s not all!Act now and you’ll also receive an additionalbonus. Our no exercise required ab sculpting workoutplan. It consists of uncomfortable shivering fora time, ab sculpting dry heaves, and rollingon the floor in acute gastric distress. Each movement is designed to deliver a guttwisting intense abdominal contraction thatwill help you burn away that unwanted fatand sculpt that sweet, sweet six pack onceand for all. But don’t just take my word for it. Listen to what these real SF Diet users haveto say. FEMALE: I lost 19lbs in 2 days just by projectilevomiting. MALE: I haven’t left my bathroom since Tuesday. But I did finish the entire Harry Potter series. Cover to cover. FEMALE: Not only did it help us lose weight,it also brought us closer together. Honey, can you hold my hair back?MALE: Of course, sweetheart. MALE: Thanks to the Stomach Flu Diet, I hadto get all new clothes. Not because of the weight I lost, but becauseI s**t myself. MALE: I’ve lost 40lbs in the last 72 hours. Can somebody please take me to the hospital?JEFF: So, what are you waiting for to getstarted?Oh, right. The price. At Viralgenics, we believe in making our plansaffordable for everyone. By ‘affordable’, we mean free. As in, 100%, no strings attached, free. So free, in fact, this plan is even approvedby Bernie Sanders. After all, why make weight loss somethingthat only the top 1% can enjoy?So, put away the excuses and pick up the phone. Call 1-800-OUTBREAK. Our operators are standing by eagerly to takeyour call. It’s time to make losing weight easy again. ANNOUNCER: Viralgenics. Leaders in generations-old weight loss planssince the bubonic plague. Your results may vary. Access to antibiotics, gastric pain tolerance,and reliable medical care are all factorsthat may influence your body’s final resultswhen compared to other’s. Side effects may include chest pain, fast,slow, or any heartrate, severe dizziness,feeling like you might pass out, passing out,mood changes, confusion, not constipation,hallucinations, tremor, decreased sex drive,and fever. As always, it is recommended that you areevaluated by and receive a physician’s approvalprior to starting this, or any other dietplan. After all, they all suck, and you would benefitfrom someone smart and responsible to tellyou that. JEFF: And finally, how am I so confident thatthis plan will work for you?Guys, I’m not only the creator of the plan,I’m also a recent client.