Ryan: Well hello pretty woman. Jennifer Lopez, by the way. Ryan: Ellen say hiEllen: Hi JenHello!Jennifer Lopez. So who’s gonna win?You probably know more than I doRyan: I don’t know yetYou always know! You have the envelope and you’re backstage and you’re peeking!I. . . I. . . I. . . And then you go like this to meWith the eyesRyan: I give you a lookWell you always say to me, ‘Tell me who it is! Tell me who it is!’And I say, ‘I don’t know yet”Yes you do!’Well I don’t know now. Right now I don’tNo, we don’t know yetBut I can cast a glareWhat’s the glare? Alright I’ll give you a glareIf it’s Caleb, I’ll give you this lookIf it’s, what? Why are you laughing at me?Go ahead, keep goingI want to see how different the Jena look isI’ll give you this lookI wanted you to give me this lookSomething really differentWell those are my two subtle looksBut I mean, look, with both these two, as you knowJennifer: They’re greatThey’re so greatThey’re so differentAnd they’re so differentThat’s the thing, I don’t knowYou look at them and you think, who’s gonna have a real recording career, who’s gonna have, you know, longevityAnd it’s just hard to tell right now. You never knowI always say you’re one hit record away from superstardomYou know what I mean?Just one record, you know. And what you make of thatIt’s the same thing with this experience. It’s what you make of itIt doesn’t matter if you come in 10th or 1stEven though you have a much better chance if you win to really run with the ballBut you know, they all have a chance to do something now that they’ve been given the opportunityAnd they deserve this opportunitySo I was watching the Billboard Awards over the weekendAnd you came up on screen and what did I think?I was skinny?Ryan: What went through my mind?How would it go through my mind though?Wow she’s on that vegan diet, she looks skinnyYeah. Shoot, I need to start the vegan diet immediatelyIt’s true. I see Jennifer. Beautiful, that registersBut then the other voice in my head goes, why aren’t you dieting like she’s dieting?Ryan: Why aren’t you eating like she’s eating?You don’t need to!Baby, we all need toBut you have done a vegan 22, or longer plan. I did the vegan 22 day plan and it was really good and I kept on with it for a few more weeksAnd now I’ve incorporated a little bit of fish, here and thereBut I got to tell you, I enjoy it. I enjoy eating that wayI never did and I didn’t know how good you could feel when you really put healthy stuff in your bodyBecause I was so used to just eating the way I grew up, you know what I mean?And I think that’s what it isI don’t think it’s so hereditary, like a chemical chemistry thing. I think it’s hereditary, it’s passed down to you – your habits, it’s a habitual thingDid you get gassy? Because I did week 2No! I felt like I had less gasOh good. Well, finally!Lucky for you guys!As I know, you’re finishing Idol and you’re always thinking about the next thingSo what is the iron in the fire that is immediately after Idol?Immediately after Idol, I’m going to do a show in the Bronx, a free concert in my hometownThat’s a big dealIt’s such a big deal. It’s so greatAnd I guess the minute we put the tickets out, they were gone. They were freeBut also it just felt really good. You wonder, is anybody gonna show up? I wonderThe tickets are free, it would be really bad if nobody didBut they did and it’s awesomeAnd we’re gonna have a huge crowd out there at Orchard BeachYou know, I’m gonna give them the best show I can give themYou know what else I was reading about you?What?The memoir! I just saw thisOh yes. It’s not a memoir, let me clear it up. Ok here’s what happenedAfter I came off tourRyan: Tell meThey were like, why don’t you do kinda like a diary of the year you were on tourBecause it was my first world tour, you know, and I had never touredAnd everybody was like, wow that seems amazing, you made so many albums and you’ve never really done a world tourSo I started and it was supposed to be kind of a fan book With a lot of pictures and little anecdotes about being on tour and how I put the show together, blah blah blahAnd as I started realizing how I put the show together, and everything that happened on tourIt became a different bookRightAnd I was like, oh my god I’m writing a book about, yes that year and those couple of years leading upThe year before the tour and and the year right after the tour. So it was 6 months, the tour, and then 6 monthsAnd everything that happened to me through doing the tour, through examining my musicAnd saying, oh at this time I did that song and at that time I did that song because of thatAnd those songs fit together. And this is who I am and this is who I was and, you knowAnd all of a sudden, I’m having this cathartic journey through my own lifeIt was like holding a up a mirror to myself, in a wayAnd everything that I learned during that timeYou know, I had just gotten divorced and things like thatSo I was on the road with the kids by myself for the first time. And so it was just this weird thing that happened in the book, you knowAnd it just became something elseYou didn’t mean to? You didn’t mean to have it happen?Because what I read was an article talking about you facing your fearsWell that’s the thing, there were a lot of things I had to face, you know, going on tour for the first timeCould I do that? Could I do that now with kids? How was it gonna be to be on my own as a mom and doing this?And also just performing every night. What was that gonna be like?How was I gonna hold up? Was my voice gonna hold up? Was I made for that?I had never done it. There were so many things and it was this learning processAnd everything that I learned, and I really did come out a stronger personThat was a very transformative year for meAnd the tour, and like I said, examining the tour through my music And putting the show together made me really realize a lot of things about myselfLike, where had that girl gone? You know, when I was making that recordWhat happened? And where am I now?And I just came out this stronger person and I learned a lot of things And I just thought to myself, you know, if I knew what I know now when I was 20, would I have wanted to know that?And the answer was yes!Of courseJennifer: I would have!And so if I could share that with somebody Like hey, this took me a long time to get to this place and to learn these thingsDo I put this out in this book? It was a strugglePut out the stories, put out some vulnerabilities about myself Because, you know, we’re always putting our best foot forward in show business, you know what I mean?It’s like, I put up my good face, my happy smile and nobody knows what’s going on behind the scenesBut to open that curtain, pull that curtain back and let people into that And say, well this is actually what I was thinking at that time, was scaryAnd I really thought, do I want to do this?Did you realize, just before I let you goDid you realize when you were out on tour that you do need a significant other or you don’t?Ryan: Because you say you did it all yourselfI realized that love starts inside youYou gotta love yourself firstAnd then you can maybe have a good relationship with somebody elseUntil then, until you figure out that piece, And really understand what that means, which I did not, then it can go better for youAnd that was a lesson to RyanRyan: Jennifer Lopez, First Love available on iTunes now


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